1 00:00:31,252 --> 00:00:33,220 [ Grunts ] 2 00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:47,897 [ Woman ] ...four easy payments-- 3 00:00:48,002 --> 00:00:50,061 [ Man ]...and increasing clouds, chance of rain with-- 4 00:00:50,171 --> 00:00:52,571 [ Woman Talking, Indistinct ] 5 00:00:52,673 --> 00:00:55,972 [ Tires Screeching ] 6 00:00:56,077 --> 00:00:58,204 [ Man On TV] Get out of the car! Get your hands up! 7 00:00:58,312 --> 00:01:00,212 Get on the ground! 8 00:01:03,918 --> 00:01:06,910 [ Officer ] Hands up, passenger. Get down! 9 00:01:07,021 --> 00:01:10,149 - I'm down. - Get on your back. 10 00:01:10,257 --> 00:01:12,282 Get your hands-- Get your other hand back. 11 00:01:12,393 --> 00:01:14,588 [ Man Grunts ] 12 00:01:14,695 --> 00:01:17,095 [ Officer ] You're under arrest. 13 00:01:17,198 --> 00:01:18,825 A teaspoon of garlic powder. 14 00:01:18,933 --> 00:01:21,493 [ Male Announcer] If you're a homeowner, crafter, do-it-yourselfer... 15 00:01:21,602 --> 00:01:24,833 trade professional or confirmed tool nut that loves to work with your ha-- 16 00:01:31,646 --> 00:01:33,546 [ Sniffs ] 17 00:01:35,750 --> 00:01:37,877 [ Grunts ] 18 00:01:37,985 --> 00:01:40,613 (music) [ Humming ] 19 00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:51,664 Yeah. 20 00:01:56,337 --> 00:01:58,237 [ Sniffs ] 21 00:02:02,910 --> 00:02:04,775 [ Man On TV] Available in any power tool. 22 00:02:04,879 --> 00:02:09,339 Future technology today. Like these high-intensity, never-fail L.E.D. headlights... 23 00:02:09,450 --> 00:02:12,419 that let you see your work even in the lowest lighting conditions. 24 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:14,647 Almost indestructible. 25 00:02:14,755 --> 00:02:16,723 [ Sniffs ] 26 00:02:21,128 --> 00:02:24,256 Conveniently stored onboard, as is the adjusting wrench-- 27 00:03:38,339 --> 00:03:42,969 - Honey. - Hey, what are you doing with your hand? 28 00:03:47,181 --> 00:03:49,911 [ All Screaming ] 29 00:03:50,017 --> 00:03:55,478 - What the hell is this? - Who are you people and what are you doing in my bed? 30 00:04:42,570 --> 00:04:44,868 [ Horns Honking ] 31 00:04:59,253 --> 00:05:01,881 That must be him. 32 00:05:01,989 --> 00:05:04,958 Hmm. Okay. 33 00:05:05,059 --> 00:05:07,186 Jimmy, I just want to remind you-- 34 00:05:07,294 --> 00:05:10,263 That I'm only here to observe. Absolutely. 35 00:05:10,364 --> 00:05:12,992 But my name goes on the story, right? 36 00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:15,398 You took the call, so your name goes on the story-- 37 00:05:15,502 --> 00:05:17,402 if we publish it. 38 00:05:17,504 --> 00:05:20,473 - That's a big ''if.'' - [ Chuckles ] ''Big if.'' 39 00:05:20,574 --> 00:05:24,533 Man, my first story. 40 00:05:29,617 --> 00:05:34,020 - Adam Burgess? - Yes, yes. Adam Burgess. That's me. 41 00:05:34,121 --> 00:05:37,579 John Byers. This is my associateJimmy whom you spoke with on the phone. 42 00:05:37,691 --> 00:05:41,320 Thank you. Thank you so much for coming. 43 00:05:41,428 --> 00:05:46,889 I was worried you weren't going to show up, and I am just-- 44 00:05:47,001 --> 00:05:52,769 Uh, Mr. Burgess, ifJimmy understood you correctly... 45 00:05:52,873 --> 00:05:55,068 you're the victim of some form of identity theft, is that right? 46 00:05:55,175 --> 00:05:58,906 - My whole life is gone. - I'm sure it can feel that way. 47 00:05:59,013 --> 00:06:01,641 It's certainly a growing problem on the Internet. 48 00:06:01,749 --> 00:06:04,718 What was accessed? Uh,your bank accounts? Your credit cards? 49 00:06:04,818 --> 00:06:09,255 No, no, no. My whole life is gone. 50 00:06:09,356 --> 00:06:13,122 Uh, there's strangers living in my house. 51 00:06:13,227 --> 00:06:15,457 Lois, my wife, I don't know where she is now. 52 00:06:15,562 --> 00:06:19,692 Neighbors, they don't know who I am anymore. Police cars chasing me. 53 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:21,768 I tell you. I thought I was losing my mind. 54 00:06:21,869 --> 00:06:25,498 But then last night, when I was spending the night in the Dumpster behind the pet store... 55 00:06:25,606 --> 00:06:28,473 I saw this. 56 00:06:28,575 --> 00:06:31,772 Ooh. Thus explaining the smell of cat urine. 57 00:06:31,879 --> 00:06:36,509 Yeah. Well, when I saw this paper... 58 00:06:36,617 --> 00:06:39,609 I knew that you would be the people who would believe me. 59 00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:43,247 - Who would understand. - Understand what? 60 00:06:43,357 --> 00:06:47,487 That I'm from a parallel reality and that aliens brought me here. 61 00:06:51,465 --> 00:06:54,957 It's the only explanation that makes any sense at all. 62 00:06:57,204 --> 00:07:02,506 Everything in my life exists as it always has. Home, neighborhood, everything. 63 00:07:02,609 --> 00:07:06,978 But I am a stranger in this reality. 64 00:07:07,081 --> 00:07:11,984 And I have proof. I think. 65 00:07:12,086 --> 00:07:14,611 Proof of alien contact. 66 00:07:17,257 --> 00:07:19,225 Take a look at this. 67 00:07:22,096 --> 00:07:26,362 I found this in every crevice of my body, all over. 68 00:07:26,467 --> 00:07:28,560 Everywhere. 69 00:07:31,138 --> 00:07:33,368 [ Quietly ] Everywhere. 70 00:07:37,578 --> 00:07:41,139 I believe this is alien goo... 71 00:07:42,983 --> 00:07:46,714 and my body was submerged in this to keep me alive in space. 72 00:07:46,820 --> 00:07:48,720 I'm sorry. We can't help you. 73 00:07:48,822 --> 00:07:50,915 - What? - I'm sure there are professionals who can. 74 00:07:51,025 --> 00:07:53,391 No. Wait, wait. Please, I'm not crazy. 75 00:07:53,494 --> 00:07:57,294 I'm sorry. Uh, best of luck to you. 76 00:07:57,398 --> 00:08:01,562 Listen. My name is Adam Burgess. I live at 43 Deck Street. 77 00:08:01,668 --> 00:08:03,829 I have a wife that loves me. All I wanna do is go home. 78 00:08:03,937 --> 00:08:06,701 Please. Please. I just want my life back. 79 00:08:06,807 --> 00:08:09,139 [ Whispering ] I'm sorry. 80 00:08:15,382 --> 00:08:18,783 What about the alien goo? 81 00:08:18,886 --> 00:08:20,786 Jimmy-- [ Exhales ] 82 00:08:20,888 --> 00:08:25,951 I don't think real alien goo smells like lavender hand lotion. 83 00:08:27,227 --> 00:08:29,127 There's no story here. 84 00:08:33,267 --> 00:08:35,394 Byers. 85 00:08:37,938 --> 00:08:40,771 But what about that? 86 00:08:55,155 --> 00:08:59,114 Is it the aliens? Did the aliens do this? Or the government? 87 00:08:59,226 --> 00:09:02,024 Or aliens working for the government? 88 00:09:02,129 --> 00:09:07,032 I think we need to have a little meeting before we come up with a definitive answer. 89 00:09:07,134 --> 00:09:09,034 Gentlemen. 90 00:09:13,407 --> 00:09:16,069 Byers, where did you find this guy? 91 00:09:16,176 --> 00:09:19,304 He found us or, rather,Jimmy. 92 00:09:19,413 --> 00:09:23,076 Yeah, figures. Anyway, I'm not ready to call Mulder just yet. 93 00:09:23,183 --> 00:09:27,142 - How do you explain his neck? - Maybe self-mutilation. 94 00:09:27,254 --> 00:09:29,188 We should check to see if his nipples are pierced. 95 00:09:29,289 --> 00:09:33,589 There's nothing alien about this space goo. It's basically udder cream. 96 00:09:33,694 --> 00:09:36,527 Use it for lubricating a cow when you're jerking it for milk. 97 00:09:36,630 --> 00:09:39,292 Why was it all over his body? 98 00:09:39,399 --> 00:09:41,367 Yeah, we don't need to go there. 99 00:09:41,468 --> 00:09:43,436 The guy's obviously a nutjob. 100 00:09:43,537 --> 00:09:45,937 I say we introduce his lubricated butt to the door. 101 00:09:46,039 --> 00:09:49,304 I was ready to dismiss him too, but-but that thing in the back ofhis neck... 102 00:09:49,409 --> 00:09:53,436 looks to me like an electrical contact, and he didn't even know he had it. 103 00:09:53,547 --> 00:09:56,948 Somebody surgically implanted it. Why? 104 00:09:57,050 --> 00:09:58,779 What is it? 105 00:10:06,326 --> 00:10:08,658 Uh, what is all of this? 106 00:10:08,762 --> 00:10:10,127 - This? - Yeah. 107 00:10:10,230 --> 00:10:14,496 Well, this is Bessie. She's sort of a homemade M.R.I. machine. 108 00:10:14,601 --> 00:10:18,901 A big magnet's gonna take a picture of your head. 109 00:10:19,006 --> 00:10:22,032 - Is it safe? -Just so long as I don't get it near your testicles. 110 00:10:26,313 --> 00:10:29,749 Do I know you from someplace? 111 00:10:29,850 --> 00:10:35,015 - You look familiar to me. - I have one of those faces. 112 00:10:35,122 --> 00:10:37,556 Okay. Let's assume the position. 113 00:10:39,593 --> 00:10:43,188 - [ Machine Whirring ] - Oh. 114 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,324 Sorry. 115 00:10:50,871 --> 00:10:52,771 We have brain. 116 00:10:52,873 --> 00:10:55,899 - That answers one question. - Look at this. 117 00:10:56,009 --> 00:11:00,639 It is a contact. Connected to some sort of wiring. 118 00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:04,205 Laced all through his cerebral cortex. What the hell is this? 119 00:11:15,062 --> 00:11:19,590 Yeah, yeah. That's it. It's 43 Deck Street. That's my house. 120 00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:21,531 - [ Engine Off] - Yeah? Prove it. 121 00:11:25,572 --> 00:11:27,540 Prove it. Okay. 122 00:11:29,209 --> 00:11:32,042 Okay. Every morning about this time... 123 00:11:32,145 --> 00:11:35,876 Frank Langdon goes to work with his newspaper and his cup of coffee. 124 00:11:40,587 --> 00:11:45,388 And his wife, Susie, usually chases him out with a good-bye kiss. 125 00:11:48,362 --> 00:11:50,660 - [ Susie ] Good-bye, honey. - Good-bye. 126 00:11:52,532 --> 00:11:54,432 Oh.Jimmy Gaganza. 127 00:11:54,534 --> 00:11:58,300 Hejust took upjogging, but he can't seem to beat the butts. 128 00:12:03,677 --> 00:12:07,613 [ Coughing ] 129 00:12:07,714 --> 00:12:10,239 And, uh, over here. 130 00:12:10,350 --> 00:12:14,343 Old nosy Rosie. She's always watching everybody's business. 131 00:12:16,623 --> 00:12:20,650 Now, if you want, we can wait here for 1 5 minutes for Karen the college student. 132 00:12:20,761 --> 00:12:26,097 Uh, no underwear. I, uh, rearranged my work schedule for that one. 133 00:12:29,803 --> 00:12:33,933 You see what I'm talking about. This is my home. My neighborhood. 134 00:12:34,041 --> 00:12:37,306 Yeah, only the Maryland real estate records say it's not. 135 00:12:37,411 --> 00:12:39,709 Furthermore, we can't find any record on you whatsoever. 136 00:12:39,813 --> 00:12:42,145 No driver's license. No social security number. 137 00:12:42,249 --> 00:12:45,275 Not even a Blockbuster card. It's like you don't exist. 138 00:12:45,385 --> 00:12:48,980 But I do.Just in a reality parallel to yours. 139 00:12:49,089 --> 00:12:51,956 It-It's gotta be the aliens. I'm telling you. 140 00:12:52,059 --> 00:12:55,028 Adam, can we leave aside the aliens... 141 00:12:55,128 --> 00:12:58,564 and look for a more earthbound explanation? 142 00:12:58,665 --> 00:13:01,634 Which is? 143 00:13:07,074 --> 00:13:12,205 - I swear I know you. - Byers, can we switch seats? 144 00:13:12,312 --> 00:13:16,180 How does a man get to know a place so completely... 145 00:13:16,283 --> 00:13:21,448 in such vivid detail, when every indication is that he's never lived there? 146 00:13:23,690 --> 00:13:28,059 Jimmy, how many huts are there on Gilligan's Island? 147 00:13:28,161 --> 00:13:32,530 Four. Not including the tree house Gilligan built the time he thought nobody liked him. 148 00:13:33,967 --> 00:13:35,730 Exactly. 149 00:13:44,778 --> 00:13:47,042 Blackout. You're good to go. 150 00:13:57,090 --> 00:14:00,059 Hey. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 151 00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:03,095 How'd I know that was there? Hmm? 152 00:14:12,139 --> 00:14:15,472 Byers, I'm sorry. I still don't follow. 153 00:14:15,575 --> 00:14:19,204 You're thinking that Adam never actually lived here... 154 00:14:19,312 --> 00:14:21,780 but instead he watched the house on TV? 155 00:14:21,882 --> 00:14:24,851 Through hidden cameras. Maybe somehow the images were fed through... 156 00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:26,851 the input wiring in the back of his neck. 157 00:14:26,953 --> 00:14:30,980 That's crazy. I lived my life. I didn't watch it on TV. 158 00:14:31,091 --> 00:14:33,559 So why cut the power to the house? 159 00:14:33,660 --> 00:14:37,619 Because if Byers is right, we have to kill the live feed or we get videotaped ourselves. 160 00:14:37,731 --> 00:14:40,666 Less talking, more stalking. Let's get this over with. 161 00:14:40,767 --> 00:14:44,760 Wh-What about me? What do I do? 162 00:14:46,006 --> 00:14:48,941 - I wouldn't. - Come on, guys. 163 00:14:49,042 --> 00:14:53,570 I took the call. Technically, it is my story. 164 00:14:59,119 --> 00:15:02,646 [ Langly ] Journalism kindergarten. I'll check the bedroom. 165 00:15:08,895 --> 00:15:11,762 That's it, kid. Keep riding. 166 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:16,428 There we go. Nothing to see. 167 00:15:19,439 --> 00:15:25,275 Perfect. Of course. I could see that coming. 168 00:15:25,378 --> 00:15:29,678 [ Beeps, High-pitched Whir] 169 00:15:29,783 --> 00:15:33,742 - You found something? - I don't know. Could be. 170 00:15:40,460 --> 00:15:44,624 - Who are you? - I'm with the city. 171 00:15:44,731 --> 00:15:48,030 We're checking the groundwater for high levels of magnesium. 172 00:15:48,134 --> 00:15:52,093 Known to cause uncontrollable drooling in prepubescent children. 173 00:15:52,205 --> 00:15:55,663 - What's behind your back? - Nothing. 174 00:15:55,775 --> 00:15:58,744 [ Beeping ] 175 00:16:00,580 --> 00:16:04,880 - [ High-pitched Whir] - My God. Maybe he was right. 176 00:16:10,790 --> 00:16:14,817 I saw you messing around with that box. You did something. 177 00:16:14,928 --> 00:16:17,897 - Oh, is that so, Einstein? - I think you're a burglar. 178 00:16:17,998 --> 00:16:22,264 - What's behind your back? - It's gonna be an ass paddle if you don't back off, kid. 179 00:16:22,369 --> 00:16:25,338 [ High-pitched Whir] 180 00:16:26,606 --> 00:16:29,234 We gotta see what this is. 181 00:16:37,117 --> 00:16:40,086 [ Whirring ] 182 00:16:40,186 --> 00:16:43,314 Wh-Whoa, I-I don't think that's a good idea. 183 00:16:43,423 --> 00:16:46,881 This is my house. I need to know what's going on in my own house. 184 00:16:49,429 --> 00:16:52,921 Byers. Langly. 185 00:16:53,033 --> 00:16:56,093 [ Whirring, Faint ] 186 00:16:58,305 --> 00:17:01,900 What's that noise? I'm telling my mom on you. 187 00:17:02,008 --> 00:17:05,967 Whoa, little man. Let's keep it friendly. 188 00:17:06,079 --> 00:17:11,415 What do you say? Five bucks make it right, huh? 189 00:17:14,187 --> 00:17:16,655 [ Groans ] Oh! Son of a-- 190 00:17:16,756 --> 00:17:19,623 You better run, you little bastard. Hey! 191 00:17:27,834 --> 00:17:31,292 - What the hell do you think you're doing? - I need to know! 192 00:17:38,244 --> 00:17:41,771 - Come here. I don't think so. - [ Siren Chirps ] 193 00:17:50,824 --> 00:17:52,917 I guess this looks bad. 194 00:18:00,734 --> 00:18:02,634 I guess this looks worse. 195 00:18:06,039 --> 00:18:06,139 [ Rapid Beeping ] 196 00:18:06,139 --> 00:18:08,630 [ Rapid Beeping ] 197 00:18:08,742 --> 00:18:11,336 Dr. Devico, we're off-line. Disturbance at the source. 198 00:18:11,444 --> 00:18:15,244 Send someone out there to check. It may be him. 199 00:18:15,348 --> 00:18:18,374 What about the test subjects? They're coming out of it. 200 00:18:18,485 --> 00:18:21,283 Put them in sleep mode... for now. 201 00:18:53,153 --> 00:18:55,644 Oh! Dear God. 202 00:18:57,123 --> 00:19:00,251 I told you to face the wall. 203 00:19:00,393 --> 00:19:02,657 What the hell's the matter with you? 204 00:19:02,762 --> 00:19:04,855 My nipples hurt. 205 00:19:08,568 --> 00:19:10,866 What are you looking at? 206 00:19:12,739 --> 00:19:16,004 - [ Yawning ] - Man, we're screwed. 207 00:19:16,109 --> 00:19:19,010 There is no law against a man vandalizing his own house. 208 00:19:19,112 --> 00:19:21,376 It's not your house. Get it through that slot in your head. 209 00:19:21,481 --> 00:19:24,450 You carved up some stranger's living room and now we're on the hook for it. 210 00:19:24,551 --> 00:19:27,349 - Langly. - Why? Why would someone wanna pump his head... 211 00:19:27,454 --> 00:19:29,319 full of images of a happy, suburban life? 212 00:19:29,422 --> 00:19:33,222 - Make him think he's got a home and a wife and all that? - I do have a home and a wife. 213 00:19:33,326 --> 00:19:37,228 Says you. If Byers is right, you can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality. 214 00:19:37,330 --> 00:19:40,231 I have a home and a wife. Lois. 215 00:19:40,333 --> 00:19:43,734 If Byers is right, you could be somebody completely different and not even know it. 216 00:19:43,837 --> 00:19:45,805 Judas H. Priest! 217 00:19:48,007 --> 00:19:53,639 You go on and on and on and on and on, yammering like some little nancy. 218 00:19:53,747 --> 00:19:56,875 If you don't shut that hole, I'm gonna stick my thumbs in your eyes... 219 00:19:56,983 --> 00:19:59,315 and ride you like a pogo stick! 220 00:19:59,419 --> 00:20:01,478 I'm just gonna-- I'm-- 221 00:20:03,690 --> 00:20:07,057 Did I just say that? I am sorry. 222 00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,060 - [ Breathing Heavily ] - Wow. 223 00:20:09,162 --> 00:20:12,654 I d-- You see that screw? 224 00:20:12,766 --> 00:20:16,896 You see the screw? Hey! Hey! 225 00:20:17,003 --> 00:20:21,565 Flatfoot. Shouldn't we be having our morning slop by now? Hey! 226 00:20:21,674 --> 00:20:26,008 - Hey! - Somebody else entirely. 227 00:20:34,053 --> 00:20:36,851 Well, isn't this cozy? 228 00:20:36,956 --> 00:20:41,450 So, who's gonna tell me what I'm paying for? 229 00:20:41,628 --> 00:20:45,029 [ Man ] Sanders back. Hand-off to Rawlings, and he's got nowhere to go. 230 00:20:45,131 --> 00:20:47,759 - Oh, a beautiful spin to break free. - You just take it easy. 231 00:20:47,867 --> 00:20:49,835 Oh, looks like he's got a two to three yard gain... 232 00:20:49,936 --> 00:20:52,769 before he was brought down by several Tiger backs. 233 00:20:52,872 --> 00:20:58,003 Basically what you're looking at here is a cross-section of Mr. Burgess's brain. 234 00:20:58,111 --> 00:21:01,239 This is the top and this is the bottom. 235 00:21:02,448 --> 00:21:06,248 This is the front. That's the back. 236 00:21:06,352 --> 00:21:10,982 - What do you make of these? - Conduits for electrical stimuli. 237 00:21:11,090 --> 00:21:13,388 Possibly behavior modification. 238 00:21:13,493 --> 00:21:16,826 If so, who was he before they modified him? 239 00:21:16,930 --> 00:21:21,560 TVs. Stereos. Speakers. DVD players. 240 00:21:21,668 --> 00:21:25,229 CD players. Video recorders. 241 00:21:25,338 --> 00:21:29,798 They call me Maniac Marvin. But they can't stop me. 242 00:21:29,909 --> 00:21:33,310 He's escaped. 243 00:21:34,514 --> 00:21:36,641 I love this guy. 244 00:21:36,749 --> 00:21:39,149 [ Yells ] 245 00:21:44,057 --> 00:21:46,491 [ Grunting ] 246 00:21:48,261 --> 00:21:53,665 - [ Yelling ] - They turned me loose. 247 00:22:04,878 --> 00:22:07,676 I honestly don't know what came over me, guys. 248 00:22:07,780 --> 00:22:10,078 I mean, I have never even heard of this Maniac Marvin. 249 00:22:10,183 --> 00:22:13,482 I can't imagine why the mere sight of him would cause me to react like that. 250 00:22:13,586 --> 00:22:16,817 That's what we hope to find out. This man may know you. 251 00:22:16,923 --> 00:22:19,551 - Right now, he's the only lead we have. - Well, let's do it. 252 00:22:19,659 --> 00:22:22,628 Uh-uh. Maniac Adam stays here with me. 253 00:22:22,729 --> 00:22:25,527 We can't afford the damage bill if he loses it again. 254 00:22:35,308 --> 00:22:37,276 [ Doorbell Buzzes ] 255 00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:52,280 I'm looking for Adam Burgess. He was arrested last night... 256 00:22:52,392 --> 00:22:56,021 along with some people at this address. 257 00:22:56,129 --> 00:22:58,393 Is he here? 258 00:23:01,601 --> 00:23:06,732 Can you tell me where I can find him? Please. He needs me. 259 00:23:06,839 --> 00:23:08,830 I'm sorry. You are? 260 00:23:08,942 --> 00:23:13,276 I'm Lois. His wife. 261 00:23:17,450 --> 00:23:20,419 And would it kill you to try to push the warranties a little harder? 262 00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:23,182 Make it sound like something they can't live without. Like air, for God's sake. 263 00:23:23,289 --> 00:23:28,090 - Oh, man. It's really him. - I got my eye on you. 264 00:23:28,194 --> 00:23:33,029 - You the gentlemen who had the question? - Aw, man. You are a maniac. 265 00:23:33,132 --> 00:23:35,760 That's funny. [ Imitates Parrot Squawking ] 266 00:23:35,868 --> 00:23:39,702 You should, like, wear a pirate's hat. 267 00:23:39,806 --> 00:23:44,038 The eye patch is for real. I wear a glass eye during the commercial shoots. 268 00:23:44,143 --> 00:23:46,873 So let me guess. You gentlemen bought the Yokahiro wide-screen TV... 269 00:23:46,980 --> 00:23:49,471 and now you want a refund because the picture looks like a fun-house mirror? 270 00:23:49,582 --> 00:23:53,245 Tell you something. The Yokahiro needs a break-in period. That way it gives the ions... 271 00:23:53,353 --> 00:23:56,880 - a chance to bond with the vertical hold, then you get-- - No, sir. Uh... 272 00:23:59,158 --> 00:24:02,491 Do you recognize this man? 273 00:24:04,230 --> 00:24:07,722 I can't say I do. Is that it? 274 00:24:20,913 --> 00:24:24,644 [ Growling Softly ] 275 00:24:24,751 --> 00:24:26,878 [ Burgess Yells ] 276 00:24:26,986 --> 00:24:29,750 This guy got all hot and sloppy when he saw my face, is that right? 277 00:24:29,856 --> 00:24:33,815 I guess I have that effect on people-- the ladies mostly. 278 00:24:33,926 --> 00:24:37,089 [ Laughs ] Sorry, gents, but I can't help you. 279 00:24:37,196 --> 00:24:39,994 [ Langly Screaming ] 280 00:24:40,099 --> 00:24:42,329 Aw, damn. 281 00:24:47,140 --> 00:24:49,608 [ Burgess Yelling ] 282 00:24:52,779 --> 00:24:52,879 I am so sorry. 283 00:24:52,879 --> 00:24:55,905 I am so sorry. 284 00:24:56,015 --> 00:24:58,643 I-I-- Really, I'm just very, very sorry. 285 00:24:58,751 --> 00:25:01,219 - Blow it out your neck hole, weirdo. - Langly. 286 00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:04,084 The guy spazzes at the sight of stereo salesmen and midgets. 287 00:25:04,190 --> 00:25:08,490 - Who knows what else is gonna set him off next. - Let's find out. 288 00:25:15,068 --> 00:25:20,404 We pulled this video grab from the outside security camera. 289 00:25:20,506 --> 00:25:22,804 Do you know this woman? 290 00:25:26,846 --> 00:25:30,475 That's Lois. My God, you found her. 291 00:25:30,583 --> 00:25:33,575 Th-This is my wife. This is my beautiful-- 292 00:25:33,686 --> 00:25:38,885 - Where is she? - She's not your wife. She only claims to be. 293 00:25:38,991 --> 00:25:41,050 What are you talking about? 294 00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:44,994 We think she's your keeper, and you're her lab rat. 295 00:25:45,098 --> 00:25:49,330 She wouldn't tell us much, only that you were undergoing some sort of therapy. 296 00:25:49,435 --> 00:25:53,667 She says she was transporting you someplace and that there was a car accident. 297 00:25:53,773 --> 00:25:56,241 Apparently,you just wandered away from the scene. 298 00:25:56,342 --> 00:25:59,903 And found your way home, or what you thought was home. 299 00:26:00,012 --> 00:26:03,004 She wouldn't tell us about those wires in your brain... 300 00:26:03,116 --> 00:26:04,150 but we think they allow you to see things and hear things and feel things... 301 00:26:04,150 --> 00:26:07,415 but we think they allow you to see things and hear things and feel things... 302 00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:11,081 that aren't really there-- things she wants you to see. 303 00:26:11,190 --> 00:26:16,594 You two are crazier than I am. Now, where is Lois? 304 00:26:18,498 --> 00:26:21,934 Uh, we told her we didn't know where you were. 305 00:26:23,369 --> 00:26:25,633 We figured you could use a little time. 306 00:26:25,738 --> 00:26:30,038 You owe it to yourself to find out who you really are. 307 00:26:33,579 --> 00:26:36,878 I know who I am. 308 00:26:36,983 --> 00:26:40,475 - I'm Adam Burgess. - No. 309 00:26:40,586 --> 00:26:45,956 There's no record of an Adam Burgess because Adam Burgess doesn't exist. 310 00:26:47,493 --> 00:26:50,462 You're someone else. You need to remember who. 311 00:27:01,107 --> 00:27:03,166 [ Growling ] 312 00:27:03,276 --> 00:27:06,177 [ Yelling ] 313 00:27:06,279 --> 00:27:08,747 - Get off me! -[ Yelling Continues ] 314 00:27:08,848 --> 00:27:11,214 Get off me! 315 00:27:12,518 --> 00:27:15,749 I am not you! I will never be you! 316 00:27:15,855 --> 00:27:19,757 Never! Never! Never! 317 00:27:22,795 --> 00:27:24,922 [ Announcer] And that Dwarf Santini is furious. 318 00:27:25,031 --> 00:27:27,522 He's making his case to the ref right now. 319 00:27:27,633 --> 00:27:30,534 - [ Continues ] - This man. The Dwarf Santini. 320 00:27:30,636 --> 00:27:33,503 - This is who you thought you saw? - [ Yelling ] 321 00:27:33,606 --> 00:27:38,373 - Yeah. - You said you'll never be like him. Who is he to you? 322 00:27:38,477 --> 00:27:41,605 [ Announcer ] It's hard to see from here, but whatever it was, it was just dirty. 323 00:27:41,714 --> 00:27:44,683 And look out. Santini has Poco Diablo in a headlock. 324 00:27:44,784 --> 00:27:48,686 Oh, there. He's down. Poco Diablo is down. 325 00:27:48,788 --> 00:27:51,018 [ Yelling ] 326 00:27:56,128 --> 00:27:58,358 [ Grunting Angrily ] 327 00:27:58,464 --> 00:27:59,897 [ Panting ] 328 00:28:02,301 --> 00:28:04,861 Your true identity better turn out to be rich. 329 00:28:04,971 --> 00:28:08,031 Can you tell us why that man makes you so angry? 330 00:28:08,140 --> 00:28:10,574 What man? 331 00:28:10,676 --> 00:28:14,203 The DwarfSantini,you re-- 332 00:28:15,848 --> 00:28:18,408 [ Sighs Heavily ] 333 00:28:20,152 --> 00:28:23,121 So where do we find this guy? 334 00:28:23,222 --> 00:28:26,589 We don't. He's been dead for years. 335 00:28:26,692 --> 00:28:28,819 He has a daughter however. 336 00:28:30,396 --> 00:28:34,856 [ Doorbell Rings ] 337 00:28:34,967 --> 00:28:36,935 Keep your shirt on. 338 00:28:40,306 --> 00:28:42,433 They've turned me loose. 339 00:28:42,541 --> 00:28:46,671 You are such a dip. Come in. 340 00:28:46,779 --> 00:28:49,839 Sweetie, you don't ever call me back. 341 00:28:49,949 --> 00:28:54,079 - I'm busy, you know. I got a life. - I know. I know. 342 00:28:54,186 --> 00:28:56,313 I was just wondering-- 343 00:28:56,422 --> 00:29:00,119 You think any more about what we talked about? 344 00:29:00,226 --> 00:29:03,593 - I wanna be part of your life. - I'm still married, Marvin. 345 00:29:03,696 --> 00:29:06,790 I know. I know that. It's-- [ Exhales ] 346 00:29:06,899 --> 00:29:09,629 It's just that I've been doing some thinking. 347 00:29:14,507 --> 00:29:18,466 I want you to get that divorce. He's out of your life. 348 00:29:18,577 --> 00:29:22,035 You haven't seen him for a year. Ayear, Sadie. 349 00:29:22,148 --> 00:29:25,276 He doesn't love you anymore. 350 00:29:25,384 --> 00:29:28,012 Marry me and I'll move you out of this dump and into a nice place. 351 00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:31,453 You and me. Man and wife. 352 00:29:31,557 --> 00:29:37,018 I can't marry you. You don't love me. Not after that crack you made. 353 00:29:37,129 --> 00:29:39,927 - What crack? - Oh, don't play stupid, stupid. 354 00:29:40,032 --> 00:29:43,160 You know. You're all about the sex. It's all you want. 355 00:29:43,269 --> 00:29:47,638 [ Chuckles ] Oh. You mean when I said, ''It takes a little lady to get me off big''? 356 00:29:47,740 --> 00:29:51,699 - Yeah. You are such a pig. - I know. 357 00:29:51,811 --> 00:29:55,577 But that's what you love about me, baby. 358 00:29:57,450 --> 00:30:00,419 [ Exhales ] Yeah, I know. 359 00:30:00,519 --> 00:30:04,819 - Turn me loose, big boy. - [ Laughs ] 360 00:30:17,269 --> 00:30:20,238 [ Disgusted Sound ] Who would live here? 361 00:30:20,339 --> 00:30:22,807 ''Muckle.'' Muckle. 362 00:30:22,908 --> 00:30:25,536 What does that sound like, a last name or a sex act? 363 00:30:25,644 --> 00:30:28,442 It's the married name of one Sadie Santini... 364 00:30:28,547 --> 00:30:32,176 who is, apparently, very much her father's daughter. 365 00:30:32,284 --> 00:30:34,912 She spent some time on the midget wrestling circuit. 366 00:30:35,020 --> 00:30:39,548 - This I gotta see. -[ Burgess Breathing Loudly ] 367 00:30:39,658 --> 00:30:42,786 Yeah. Yeah! 368 00:30:45,831 --> 00:30:49,699 Adam. Adam! 369 00:30:52,905 --> 00:30:55,738 - You! - Oh, no! 370 00:30:55,841 --> 00:30:58,173 Oh! 371 00:30:58,277 --> 00:31:01,041 I'm gonna get you. I'm gonna get you! 372 00:31:01,147 --> 00:31:03,911 I'm gonna take your other eye out this time, pal! 373 00:31:04,016 --> 00:31:07,713 Okay, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine! 374 00:31:07,820 --> 00:31:11,051 - Charlie, where the hell have you been? - Charlie? Is that your name? 375 00:31:13,259 --> 00:31:17,719 Charlie... Muckle. 376 00:31:17,830 --> 00:31:21,266 Muckle. Charlie Muckle. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. 377 00:31:21,367 --> 00:31:23,927 Now I'm remembering everything. 378 00:31:25,871 --> 00:31:27,896 Lois? 379 00:31:29,775 --> 00:31:32,744 I was afraid I'd find you here. 380 00:31:32,845 --> 00:31:35,336 Charlie, we need to talk. 381 00:31:35,448 --> 00:31:37,916 [ Loud Sigh ] 382 00:31:40,619 --> 00:31:44,612 My name is Charlie Muckle, and I'm an alcoholic. 383 00:31:44,723 --> 00:31:49,922 And I have anger issues. And I shoplift. 384 00:31:50,029 --> 00:31:54,159 And I fill my tank with gas and drive off without paying... 385 00:31:54,266 --> 00:31:59,226 and sometimes I cruise the old-folks'home, uh, acting like a visitor... 386 00:31:59,338 --> 00:32:02,830 and then I go through their mail, looking for Social Security checks. 387 00:32:05,044 --> 00:32:09,140 And I expose myself in public... sometimes. 388 00:32:09,248 --> 00:32:12,308 But only to women who think they're hot stuff. 389 00:32:12,418 --> 00:32:14,818 Don't forget. You got my best friend pregnant. 390 00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:17,320 Oh, yeah. Yeah-- Well, yeah... 391 00:32:17,423 --> 00:32:20,449 did that too. 392 00:32:20,559 --> 00:32:22,550 - And you despise Charlie, don't you? - Yes. 393 00:32:22,661 --> 00:32:27,155 Which is why you were willing to let me help you become Adam Burgess. 394 00:32:27,266 --> 00:32:31,066 - Burgess. - Charlie, you let this woman brainwash you? 395 00:32:31,170 --> 00:32:35,163 Well, it was either that or doing 2 4 months for putting out Marvin's eye... 396 00:32:35,274 --> 00:32:37,902 the last time I caught you two in bed together. 397 00:32:38,010 --> 00:32:41,343 Talk to Marvin. He knew all about it. 398 00:32:41,447 --> 00:32:44,678 Hey, you told me that you dropped the charges and that he just disappeared. 399 00:32:44,783 --> 00:32:48,480 Baby, I was just looking out for Charlie's best interests. 400 00:32:48,587 --> 00:32:50,987 He needed time to heal. 401 00:32:51,090 --> 00:32:54,082 Is that what you're doing for this man, healing him? 402 00:32:54,193 --> 00:32:56,991 I have his signed consent on file. 403 00:32:57,096 --> 00:33:00,827 Everything we do is legal and aboveboard. 404 00:33:00,933 --> 00:33:05,666 What about making him believe you're his wife? Is that aboveboard as well? 405 00:33:05,771 --> 00:33:09,172 You're already married to me. 406 00:33:09,275 --> 00:33:12,039 Perhaps he shouldn't be. 407 00:33:12,144 --> 00:33:14,669 It may not be healthy for him... or for you. 408 00:33:16,382 --> 00:33:19,545 Yeah, Sadie, and she's a doctor. 409 00:33:24,056 --> 00:33:25,887 Is that right, Charlie? 410 00:33:28,060 --> 00:33:30,221 Is that what you really think? 411 00:33:30,329 --> 00:33:33,787 You were always telling me how I could never compare to your father. 412 00:33:33,899 --> 00:33:37,460 It's always, ''The great man this, the great man that.'' 413 00:33:37,570 --> 00:33:42,564 I can never measure up. You were always telling me you wanted me to change. 414 00:33:42,675 --> 00:33:45,143 Well, I changed... 415 00:33:45,244 --> 00:33:48,475 and for the better. 416 00:33:48,581 --> 00:33:53,314 Yes, you did, Adam, and our work can continue. 417 00:33:53,419 --> 00:33:55,216 It's not too late. 418 00:34:02,094 --> 00:34:04,324 Well, don't let me stop you. 419 00:34:06,365 --> 00:34:10,495 Oh, what the hell. Plug me in. 420 00:34:27,720 --> 00:34:32,350 Baby, this really is the best thing... 421 00:34:32,458 --> 00:34:36,417 - for everybody. - [ Shaky Breath ] 422 00:34:53,145 --> 00:34:57,047 I'm not so sure I want my name on the story after all. 423 00:34:57,149 --> 00:35:00,380 - What are you talking about? -Jimmy, as first stories go, this one's a doozy. 424 00:35:00,486 --> 00:35:04,616 You've got an unproven virtual reality therapy that threatens to... 425 00:35:04,723 --> 00:35:07,385 strip its patients of their very identities. 426 00:35:07,493 --> 00:35:10,553 It's exactly what the American people need to be warned about. 427 00:35:10,663 --> 00:35:16,158 Yeah, I know. It's just... I don't like how the story ends. 428 00:35:16,268 --> 00:35:19,396 Well, so what? You're a journalist. 429 00:35:19,505 --> 00:35:24,238 You report the news, good or bad. You don't change the news. You don't affect its outcome. 430 00:35:24,343 --> 00:35:29,804 Oh, yeah? Like you guys just kick back with your pad and your pencil. 431 00:35:29,915 --> 00:35:35,046 Like you don't take interest in the people that you write about and always help 'em out. 432 00:35:37,423 --> 00:35:40,517 I feel like I dropped the ball. 433 00:35:40,626 --> 00:35:43,823 How would you end the story? 434 00:35:45,030 --> 00:35:47,362 I'd have Charlie wind up with Sadie. 435 00:35:47,466 --> 00:35:52,267 It is so obvious how much they really love each other... 436 00:35:52,371 --> 00:35:54,601 even if they won't admit it. 437 00:35:54,707 --> 00:36:00,043 And there's something not right when science gets in the way oflove. 438 00:36:01,714 --> 00:36:04,706 [ Groans ] I got diabetes now. 439 00:36:04,817 --> 00:36:08,617 So what are we gonna do about it? 440 00:36:19,131 --> 00:36:21,031 [ Exhales ] 441 00:37:18,457 --> 00:37:21,085 [ Sniffling ] 442 00:37:23,629 --> 00:37:27,258 Happy days, sweet pea. Your divorce came through. [ Laughing ] 443 00:37:27,366 --> 00:37:31,496 What are you doing? It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding, you jerk. 444 00:37:31,603 --> 00:37:33,901 What does it matter? I saw her naked yesterday. 445 00:37:34,006 --> 00:37:37,305 How lucky was that? [ Laughs ] I love you. 446 00:37:43,749 --> 00:37:46,377 [ Short Buzzes ] 447 00:37:48,253 --> 00:37:50,380 I've missed you. 448 00:37:53,258 --> 00:37:57,058 Oh, you're the man of my dreams, you know that? 449 00:37:58,764 --> 00:38:01,392 Make love to me. 450 00:38:01,500 --> 00:38:05,129 Uh, don't I have a job I'm supposed to be at? 451 00:38:05,237 --> 00:38:09,037 [ Short Chuckle ] Not today. I made it Saturday. 452 00:38:11,743 --> 00:38:15,042 Oh, Adam, tell me you love me. 453 00:38:25,924 --> 00:38:28,688 Looks like you were right about the hidden cameras, Byers. 454 00:38:28,794 --> 00:38:31,763 I was just wrong about where to look for them. 455 00:38:31,864 --> 00:38:35,857 Well, it looks like every utility pole in the neighborhood is wired with 'em. 456 00:38:35,968 --> 00:38:41,201 The interior of the house was probably scanned into the program separately. 457 00:38:41,306 --> 00:38:43,274 [ Grunts ] 458 00:38:45,244 --> 00:38:47,109 Okay, Yves. You're tapped in. 459 00:38:47,212 --> 00:38:51,672 - Where's Adam in the program? - The master bedroom. There. 460 00:38:51,783 --> 00:38:54,843 - What's he doing? - I'll tell you when you're older. 461 00:38:58,223 --> 00:39:02,523 Let's make this quick. Ten to one, nosy Rosie across the street is calling the cops. 462 00:39:05,163 --> 00:39:08,291 - [ Creaks ] - Is this really gonna work? 463 00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:12,200 In theory it should. You see the little boxes on the phone poles? 464 00:39:12,304 --> 00:39:15,102 Those are the hidden cameras we were looking for last time. 465 00:39:15,207 --> 00:39:17,675 They're feeding audio and video into a computer somewhere... 466 00:39:17,776 --> 00:39:21,576 which is transforming it into the virtual reality that Adam is experiencing. 467 00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:25,309 - So if we're on-camera-- - Then he should be able to see and hear us. 468 00:39:25,417 --> 00:39:29,717 However, we won't be able to see him. So, who's gonna start? 469 00:39:29,821 --> 00:39:33,780 Charlie! Charlie Muckle. 470 00:39:33,892 --> 00:39:38,955 - Um, do you hear something? - It's nothing, Adam. Ignore it. 471 00:39:39,064 --> 00:39:42,465 - Come on out, man. - [ Byers ] Charlie. [ Whistles ] 472 00:39:42,567 --> 00:39:45,195 Charlie! 473 00:39:45,304 --> 00:39:47,602 Hang on a minute. 474 00:39:50,275 --> 00:39:54,575 Charlie. [ Whistles ] Where is he, Yves? 475 00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:57,171 Ten feet in front of you. He's stepping out on the porch. 476 00:39:57,282 --> 00:39:59,773 [ Charlie ] Hey. 477 00:39:59,885 --> 00:40:03,343 - Hey. - He's trying to talk to you. I'm patching him through now. 478 00:40:03,455 --> 00:40:06,322 What are you guys doing here? I'm a little busy. 479 00:40:10,395 --> 00:40:13,330 You're like the four blind mice. Why aren't you even looking at me? 480 00:40:13,432 --> 00:40:15,593 Because you're not really here, Charlie. 481 00:40:15,701 --> 00:40:19,102 Because this whole thing's like a big video game... 482 00:40:19,204 --> 00:40:23,470 and you're really somewhere else with a wire in the back of your neck and blue goo... 483 00:40:23,575 --> 00:40:27,944 - in every crevice of your body. - Yeah, yeah. I know. So what? 484 00:40:28,046 --> 00:40:31,311 - So what? [ Scoffs ] - So what, uh-- 485 00:40:31,416 --> 00:40:35,682 [ Charlie ] Listen. Seriously, there's no pressure here. 486 00:40:35,821 --> 00:40:40,656 I'm happy. Life is good. I don't have to make any big decisions. 487 00:40:40,759 --> 00:40:43,125 It's a perfect life. It's designed to be. 488 00:40:43,228 --> 00:40:46,891 - Yeah, but-- - Pretty soon I'll forget who I even am... 489 00:40:46,999 --> 00:40:49,467 just like before. 490 00:40:49,568 --> 00:40:53,698 Maybe I'll forget this isn't real. It'll be even better. 491 00:40:53,805 --> 00:40:59,175 -[ Byers ] You'll forget Sadie too. - Looking forward to it. 492 00:40:59,277 --> 00:41:01,837 No, you're not. 493 00:41:01,947 --> 00:41:03,915 Nobody wants to forget the people that they love. 494 00:41:04,016 --> 00:41:06,746 She's better off with Marvin. 495 00:41:06,852 --> 00:41:08,752 Except she seems to want you. 496 00:41:08,854 --> 00:41:13,416 - I'm no good for her. - You're no good for anybody, Charlie. 497 00:41:13,525 --> 00:41:18,690 You belong on Jerry Springer or in a zoo, but you can change. 498 00:41:18,797 --> 00:41:22,699 The old-fashioned way. Provided you want to badly enough. 499 00:41:22,801 --> 00:41:26,498 You guys-- You guys make it sound so easy. 500 00:41:26,605 --> 00:41:29,233 It's not. But I gotta believe virtual reality... 501 00:41:29,341 --> 00:41:34,973 with all its perfect weather and great sex and-- Oh, God. 502 00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:39,107 It's not as good as real life. Not even close. 503 00:41:39,217 --> 00:41:43,517 - [ Siren Approaching ] - Oh, crap. 504 00:41:43,622 --> 00:41:46,352 Let's go. Let's go. Come on. 505 00:41:47,726 --> 00:41:50,286 Come on, Charlie. Now or never. 506 00:41:57,569 --> 00:42:01,005 Ladies and gentlemen! 507 00:42:01,106 --> 00:42:04,234 Let's get ready to get married! 508 00:42:04,342 --> 00:42:06,742 [ Cheering ] 509 00:42:08,447 --> 00:42:14,249 In this corner, weighing in at 1 89 pounds from Washington, D.C.... 510 00:42:14,352 --> 00:42:18,982 - Maniac Marvin Kaufman. - [ Applause ] 511 00:42:20,325 --> 00:42:22,725 And entering in the far corner... 512 00:42:22,828 --> 00:42:27,629 weighing in at 7 1 pounds from Columbus, Ohio... 513 00:42:27,732 --> 00:42:30,860 Sadie ''The Terror''Muckle. 514 00:42:30,969 --> 00:42:33,631 [ Applause, Cheering ] 515 00:42:39,511 --> 00:42:42,639 We are gathered here in the sight of friends, family... 516 00:42:42,747 --> 00:42:46,239 the World Professional Wrestling Commission, and the Lord... 517 00:42:46,351 --> 00:42:49,946 tojoin you two in holy matrimony. 518 00:42:51,089 --> 00:42:53,990 Uh, hold it. One minute. Hey. Hey! 519 00:42:54,092 --> 00:42:56,754 - Hold it one minute. - [ Camera Shutter Clicks ] 520 00:42:56,862 --> 00:43:01,526 - I object. - We're not even at that part of the ceremony yet. 521 00:43:04,736 --> 00:43:07,034 - Adam. - Charlie. 522 00:43:07,139 --> 00:43:09,505 Sadie, I want my life back. 523 00:43:09,608 --> 00:43:12,634 You are my life. 524 00:43:14,679 --> 00:43:18,547 (music) [ Man Singing ] 525 00:43:20,919 --> 00:43:23,387 How's this ending? 526 00:43:29,461 --> 00:43:31,952 (music) [ Continues ] 527 00:43:48,713 --> 00:43:50,613 (music) [ Ends ] 528 00:44:23,281 --> 00:44:25,010 [ Child ] I made this.